Playing With Fire Read online

  ‘No! No, it’s not yours.’

  ‘Susan.’ His voice was slow and deliberate. He must make his position clear. ‘I’d be more than willing to marry you, you know. You need have no qualms about that.’

  Willing to marry her. What a wonderful recipe for a happy marriage! Everyone talking and pointing the finger. A heartbroken Alison in the background. Even for the sake of the child he would be unable to hide his love for her sister. The child would have its father’s name, but everything else would be a disaster.

  Looking him straight in the eye, she said, ‘Believe me, you are not the father.’

  ‘Then who is? You have to tell me, so I can go home with a clear conscience.’

  ‘Graham, listen to me. If I had wanted to wash my dirty linen in public, I’d have gone home. I’m not proud of the position I’m in, you know! Far from it, but it’s nobody’s business but my own and, if I can help it, it won’t be talked about in the dance halls of Belfast. You can go home and marry Alison with a clear mind.’

  Still unsure, he probed, ‘Are you telling me the truth?’

  ‘Yes. Now will you please take me back. I’m cold.’

  She climbed awkwardly back into the car, but he knew better than to try and assist her. On the journey back she sat crouched against the car door, the picture of misery, and he regretted adding to her worries. Still, he had to be sure. After all, he was engaged to her sister. They were just drawing up to the house when the heavens opened and rain fell in a sheet.

  The door was opened quickly. ‘You just made it in time.’

  Susan wryly examined her soaked coat and replied, ‘I don’t know about that.’

  ‘Take off your coat, Graham, and hang it up there.’ Edith nodded to a rack in the hall. ‘I’ll fetch you a towel for your hair in a jiffy.’ She helped her niece off with her coat. ‘Are you all right, love,’ she whispered.

  ‘I’m fine, Aunt Edith, just cold. My, you have been busy,’ she exclaimed when she entered the sitting room. All the cartons and tea chests had disappeared, and the settee and chairs were in position against the wall and close to the coal fire that now burned brightly in the grate.

  Billy laughed. ‘You should see the state of the living room and kitchen. Meanwhile, we can be comfortable in here for the rest of the evening.’

  ‘Where is everybody?’

  ‘Jack and Margaret had made arrangements for tonight, so Donald offered to run them home. Donald’s coming back for his tea. Sit over here, love, you look like death warmed up.’

  Relieved to know that Margaret wouldn’t be there watching every move with those inquisitive eyes, Susan sank into the armchair closest to the fire. Billy soon had a conversation going with Graham, and Edith disappeared into the kitchen. Susan sat and gazed into the leaping flames, her thoughts in a whirl. The cat was well and truly out of the bag now. When they heard about her predicament - shame or no shame - her parents would expect her to return home. No matter how hateful it might be to her father, he would demand that she come home and face the music. If she didn’t, he would wash his hands of her for ever.

  With a start of surprise she became aware of sounds coming from the kitchen. Rising to her feet, she addressed Graham. ‘Will you excuse me, please? I must help Aunt Edith.’

  Without waiting for a reply, she joined her aunt. ‘Thank God you came in,’ Edith greeted her. ‘I’m standing here deciding what to do for the best. Do you want to be alone with Graham? Will I get Billy in here on some pretext or other, then you and Graham can have a good old chinwag?’

  ‘No! I know I must try to persuade him to hold his tongue about me, but not at the moment. I’m too mixed up and weepy, and the last thing I want to do is bawl in front of him.’

  Reaching for her, Edith held her close. ‘You really should go home now, love,’ she said gently. ‘He will face a barrage of questions when he gets back. You can’t expect him to cover up for you.’

  ‘I can try.’ She clung tightly to Edith. ‘Why, oh why, did he have to come over? I was managing so well. Now what am I going to do?’

  ‘What about trusting him? Eh, love? Tell him the truth. Explain who the father is and why you don’t want anybody back home to know. Perhaps then he will cover up for you.’

  Drawing away from her, Susan said, ‘You don’t understand. I can’t do that.’

  ‘You’re being silly. You know what they say? A problem shared . . .’

  Susan shook her head. ‘You don’t understand.’

  ‘You can say that again. I’ve noticed you’ve taken off the wedding ring.’

  ‘I’m wrapped up in so many lies and half-truths that sometimes I don’t know myself what’s right any more. But one thing’s for sure - he’s not going home with the idea I’m married. If I have to go home eventually, I’ll have enough explaining to do, without everybody asking questions about an imaginary husband.’

  ‘Mm, I see what you mean.’ Edith nodded to the pots bubbling away on the cooker. ‘I’ve had these simmering for ages. It’s almost ready, love. Away and tidy yourself up a bit. We’ll work something out between us.’

  Graham watched covertly as Donald lavished care and attention on Susan during the very appetising meal Edith had managed to conjure up at such short notice. Later, as they sat conversing by the fire, Donald shared the settee with Susan, murmuring now and then into her ear. Not enough to be intimate, but just enough to make it obvious he cared for her.

  The rain continued to pour down and the wind was gathering strength. He would have to make a move soon, but he still needed another private chat with Susan. In a dilemma, he flailed about in his mind for an excuse to be alone with her. It was Edith who gave him the excuse to extend his stay.

  ‘Graham, that’s a terrible night to be on the road. Can you not stay overnight? What time is your flight tomorrow? ’

  ‘I think you’re right, Edith. I’m not too sure of the road back to the airport. I’d be more comfortable driving in daylight and my flight isn’t until noon. When I was looking for your house earlier on, I noticed the Traveller’s Rest Inn nearby. Perhaps they will have a room.’

  ‘You can stay here!’ Edith exclaimed. ‘I know it’s all a mess at the moment, but the settee is comfortable. Or, if you don’t fancy sleeping here, I’m sure Donald will put you up in his house.’

  All eyes turned on Donald. Not knowing what Susan would want him to say, he met her eyes. She give a slight nod. This way she would be able to see Graham before he left in the morning and beg him not to reveal her secret.

  ‘That’s fine by me,’ he agreed.

  To their surprise, Graham accepted Edith’s offer. ‘Thanks very much, Donald, but if it’s all right with you, I’d be glad to sleep on the settee.’ He looked towards Edith. ‘If you’re sure it’s no bother?’

  ‘No bother at all. While you were out in the car with Susan we put up the two beds, and I have left some bedclothes out for the settee.’

  Billy rose to his feet. ‘In that case I don’t see why we can’t have a drink. I refrained from offering you one earlier, Graham, because I thought you would be driving back to Newcastle tonight.’

  ‘What about Donald? He’ll be driving,’ Edith exclaimed.

  ‘He can walk down to the village later on and phone a taxi,’ Billy pointed out reasonably, and leaving the room he returned with a bottle of whiskey and some cans of beer. ‘Will you get the glasses, love? I’ve no idea which box they’re in, and there’s a bottle of wine somewhere for you, and maybe Susan will have a small glass.’

  The drink loosened their tongues and the evening passed pleasantly. Susan questioned Graham about all her friends back home and listened in rapture as he related all about the engagement party. ‘You should have been there, Susan,’ he chastised her gently. ‘You were sadly missed. Everybody was asking about you.’

  ‘Ah well, you can see how it is.’ Her hand patted her stomach in a futile gesture. Regret made her voice sad.

  Graham looked at her and wondered, if s
he had come home in that condition, would the engagement have taken place? He was far from convinced that he wasn’t the father.

  At half-past ten, Donald rose to go home. ‘It’s been a long day and I’m sure you’re all tired. I’ll go now and let you get to bed. I’ll call up tomorrow night after work and see if I can give you a hand with anything.’

  ‘Thanks, Donald. We’ll be glad to see you.’

  He turned to Graham. ‘You’re sure you wouldn’t prefer a bed?’

  ‘No, thanks all the same, I’ll be fine on the settee.’

  ‘I’ll run away on then.’

  He held Susan’s eye and she responded. ‘I’ll see you out, Donald.’

  They opened the front door and gazed out into the torrential rain. ‘You’ll be soaked. Take my umbrella.’

  He smiled wryly. ‘I think not. It would be blown inside out in no time.’ He moved close and lowered his voice. ‘Did I do the right thing back there, letting him think we were a couple?’

  ‘You did the right thing,’ she agreed. ‘And thank you.’

  Before she could move he had his arms around her and, when she looked up startled, his mouth covered hers. She stood passive - after all, it was just a good-night kiss. However, he persisted gently and against her will her lips, as if of their own volition, moved hungrily under his.

  Dragging her mouth away, she covered his with her fingers. ‘This will never do, Donald. There is absolutely no need to put on an act out here.’

  ‘It’s no act! Surely you realise that I care?’ She shook her head despairingly and he confessed, ‘I have to admit I’m frightened, Susan.’

  ‘Frightened?’

  ‘Yes, there’s something about the way that guy looks at you. As if he had a claim on you. Is he a friend of your husband’s, by any chance?’

  ‘You’re imagining things, and no, he isn’t a friend of my husband’s. I wish you wouldn’t harp on about my husband.’

  ‘I can’t help it. And there’s nothing wrong with my imagination. He acts too possessive towards you. Don’t let him persuade you to go home, sure you won’t? Your place is here with us. Now, away in and close the door. It’s freezing out here. I’ll see you tomorrow night.’

  The rain battered against the window panes and the wind was fiercely relentless in its buffeting pursuit of admittance. Tired and weary in body and spirit, Susan tossed and turned, but her mind was too active to let sleep claim her. No matter what direction her thoughts took, she could find no way to persuade Graham to cover up for her. At last, in despair, she left her bed and, donning her dressing gown, quietly descended the bare stairs to the kitchen. She was pouring herself a cup of tea when Graham’s voice came to her.

  ‘Is there another cup in that pot?’

  Silently, she opened the cupboard door and lifted down a mug. Filling it with tea, she nodded to the sugar bowl and milk jug. ‘Help yourself.’

  He added a little milk and two spoonfuls of sugar, and then, wrapping his hands gratefully around the mug’s warmth, held it to his cheek. She had so far avoided looking directly at him. Now, noting that he was stripped to the waist, she exclaimed in concern, ‘You must be freezing. Can I fetch you an old shirt of Billy’s?’

  ‘It’s okay, I’ll be warm enough. I’ve plenty of blankets in there. I heard someone come down and hoped it was you. We must talk, Susan.’

  ‘I know.’ She led the way into the sitting room and he followed her. Without meeting his eyes, she said tentatively, ‘Graham, I have a great favour to ask of you.’

  His eyes were wary, but he said, ‘Fire away.’

  ‘Please don’t tell anybody I’m expecting a baby.’

  ‘You’re asking the impossible, Susan. I can’t do that.’

  ‘Why? You say you came over here on business? Well, tell them you never got down to see me, then they won’t question you.’

  ‘But why, Susan? They have to know some time.’

  She was sitting hunched over the dying embers of the fire. Now she rose and, placing her cup on the mantelpiece, approached him. ‘It’s very important to me that no one knows.’ She placed a hand on his chest and gazed appealingly at him. ‘Please do this for me.’

  Placing his own cup on the mantelpiece, he rested his hands on her shoulders and gazed down into her eyes. ‘Susan, even if I’m not the father, I’d be willing to take the responsibility and marry you.’

  She gazed at him, startled, her mouth gaping slightly. ‘Don’t be ridiculous! You love Alison.’

  Afraid to declare his love for her - after all, it would look as if he was stringing her sister along, and wasn’t he? he derided himself - and at a loss for words, he said weakly, ‘I also care for you.’

  She shook her head in bewilderment. ‘You don’t know what you’re saying, Graham. I don’t want your pity.’

  ‘Pity? No, not pity. Far from it! I care deeply for you.’ His arms slipped around her and, receiving no resistance, gently drew her close to his body. For the second time that night she found herself in a man’s embrace. He clasped her closer still, one hand pressing her cheek against his bare chest, his lips ruffling her hair. Mesmerised, she stood immobile listening to the thudding of his heart; aware of his rising passion. The memory of the pleasure that this man’s hands and body could do to her sent a wave of sensual longing through her. Her response to him was swift and sweet, and she savoured it and pressed closer still. Cupping her face gently in his hands, he raised it for a kiss. His lips were more urgent than Donald’s and passion heightened swiftly between them. Dismayed at her fiery reaction, she tried to break away, but, weakened by longing, her effort was feeble and went unnoticed, and the kiss intensified.

  They were on the settee when she came to her senses. What on earth kind of woman am I, she thought, aghast, that I could go from one man to another and respond so readily? It was because I was hungry for affection, that’s why, she consoled herself. With a mighty shove she pushed him away. He rolled off the settee and, arms around his knees, sat gazing up at her, bereft. It had been wonderful holding her close, even with the child between them; it had felt like coming home. It strengthened his resolve. He was now more than ever convinced that the child was his.

  ‘I’m sorry. I got carried away. Again! You have that effect on me, Susan. I do care deeply for you, you know.’

  ‘It’s infatuation, and it’s wrong, Graham. You’re engaged to my sister. She loves you!’

  ‘Does she? I’m not so sure about that. And, as you well know, engagements can be - and often are - broken. You need me more than she does. Alison will survive. You know that as well as I do!’ He was on his knees now beside the settee. ‘And it’s not infatuation. I think you care more than you realise, Susan, or you would never have lost control like that. I didn’t force you.’

  She turned away in despair. ‘I’m aware of that! No need to rub it in. It’s because I’m lonely. That’s all it is.’

  ‘I don’t believe that. You wanted me as much as I wanted you.’

  ‘Graham, I don’t understand your reasoning,’ she cried in frustration. ‘We were never meant for each other. I never noticed you back home. I was besotted by Jim Brady; still am, as a matter of fact. And you know that’s the truth. That episode with you was an accident. It should never have happened.’

  ‘But it did happen! If the baby is mine, I want to . . .’

  ‘Hold on a minute!’ she curtly interrupted him. ‘Get that idea out of your head once and for all. You’re not the father.’ Crossing her fingers out of sight, she lied, ‘Donald is going to make an honest woman of me. I just don’t want everybody back home to know until I have a ring on my finger. Then they need never know it was conceived outside matrimony. You know what Mam and Dad are like. Will you do this for me, Graham? Please?’ she pleaded.

  ‘Susan . . . How can I tell your family a pack of lies?’

  ‘At least think about it. Please, Graham. I’d be indebted to you. Come on, get up off that and let’s finish our tea.’

&nb
sp; They sat each side of the hearth and finished their tea in silence. At last she decided he’d had enough time to think and rose to her feet.

  ‘Well?’

  He had been trying to think of a reason to persuade her to go back home with him, and now raised a startled glance. ‘Well, what?’ he asked, a bewildered frown on his brow.

  ‘Oh, men!’ she cried and, forgetful of her sleeping aunt and uncle, she thumped up the stairs.

  Edith and Billy left the house very early next morning and a sullen Susan prepared breakfast for Graham. Determined not to make any promises he might later regret, he ate the bacon and eggs in silence.

  ‘There’s plenty of hot water if you would like a bath,’ she informed him.

  ‘Thanks, but I’ll have a quick shower at the hotel.’

  ‘Do you not think it’s time you were making a move?’

  A glance at his watch brought him to his feet. ‘You’re right. I’ll just visit the bathroom and then I’ll be on my merry way.’

  Dressed for the road, he stood tentatively in front of her. ‘Have you had time to think what you intend doing?’ she asked, her eyes beseeching him.

  He shook his head. ‘No, I’m afraid not. Is there any way I can get in touch with you and let you know what I decide?’

  ‘The phone is being installed today, but I’ve no idea what the number will be. Can I call you?’

  ‘If you like. At the office, please.’

  He wrote his number on the pad she handed him. ‘Tomorrow morning. I’ll go to the office in the morning. ’ He sighed. ‘The die will be cast, one way or the other by then.’

  ‘Thank you. And safe journey home.’

  A quick hug and he left her standing at the door in tears.

  The tears continued to fall as she cleared up the breakfast dishes. In the bathroom she brushed them angrily away. She must get control of her emotions; she had a job to go to, and customers expected a bit of pleasant chitchat. Time enough for tears if Graham blew the whistle on her and she had to return to Belfast.