Playing With Fire Read online

It was a beautiful night; stars twinkled brightly against a dark sky. The air was crisp and their breath was like fine mist hovering on the frosty air as they made their way through the town centre towards North Road.

  ‘Isn’t it a lovely night?’

  He glanced sideways at her. ‘It certainly is, and so are you.’

  She laughed aloud. ‘Are you trying to boost my morale?’

  ‘I’m trying to figure out what makes you tick. You married one man and are expecting another man’s child. Why aren’t they here fighting over you? I don’t understand. ’

  ‘Because until Margaret opened her big mouth, no one but Edith and Billy knew about this baby. It’s the best-kept secret. Certainly no one in Ireland knows, and that’s the way I want it to stay.’

  ‘Surely the father has a right to know?’

  ‘He isn’t free.’

  ‘Ah, I guessed he must be a married man.’

  ‘No, he isn’t married. He is, however, engaged. Look, I’m talking too much. Please don’t ask me any more questions on this subject. It’ll only end in tears.’

  ‘Just one more! Why not tell him? If you love each other, he will probably break off the engagement and marry you.’

  ‘Ah, but you see, that’s the snag. He doesn’t love me.’

  In spite of the fact that she felt far from laughing, the expression on his face brought forth a reluctant chuckle. ‘It’s all very complicated, Donald, and I’m too ashamed to tell you the truth. So can we just forget my problems and concentrate on yours?’

  ‘I must confess mine are nothing compared with yours.’

  ‘Take my advice and let them stay that way. Forget Margaret! She’s nothing but trouble. You’ll meet some nice girl one day who is free to return your love. Now let’s change the subject. I’m going to keep my side of the bargain and cook you something tasty for supper. What do you think of that?’

  ‘I think that’s a very good idea.’ He reached for her hand and drew it under his arm, quickening his step at the same time. ‘I’m starving. Remember, I missed dinner today.’

  She laughed aloud. ‘You’re not going to let me forget, are you?’

  For the remainder of the journey they were locked in their own thoughts. Susan was very aware of his body brushing against hers. Through her own stupid fault she was missing out on so much. She warned herself to be careful. In her vulnerable state she might send out the wrong signals and, since this was to have been Donald’s wedding day and he was missing Margaret, anything could happen. Why had she promised to cook him a meal? The rest of the evening could be fraught with danger.

  Donald’s thoughts were running along similar tracks, only he couldn’t see what harm it would do if they comforted each other. Who knows, perhaps if he played his cards right, he might win her around to his way of thinking. He was humming softly, his nerves tingling with anticipation, when they at last arrived at his house.

  Inside, he closed the door and drew her into his arms. In the semi-darkness she stood very still, her big, haunted eyes gazing up at him. His head bent and, receiving no resistance, he trailed his lips gently over the contours of her face. Aware that she should be stopping him before it got out of hand, she nevertheless pressed closer, savouring the sweetness of his caresses. Encouraged, he was slowly edging her towards the stairs, all the while seducing her with his mouth and hands.

  Suddenly she twisted away from him. ‘No, this is wrong!’

  ‘Why? Why is it wrong? We’re not trespassing on anyone else’s preserves. We’re two lonely people who are attracted to each other.’

  ‘I don’t want this. I want true love, not just a one-night stand.’

  ‘Who knows where it might lead, eh? I do care for you, Susan. Once your divorce comes through, we might very well care enough about each other to marry.’

  She grasped at this excuse. ‘That might well be, but until I’m free I don’t want to be used by someone who’s running away from someone else.’

  He stepped back as if stung. ‘I wouldn’t use you like that,’ he protested.

  ‘Oh no? What would you call it?’

  ‘I was trying to comfort you.’

  ‘Thank you very much, but I don’t need that kind of comfort. I think you should go now. More than anything else in the world, I need to be respected.’

  He looked incredulous. ‘You think I don’t respect you?’

  ‘How could you, when you think I’m ready to jump into bed with you?’

  Without another word he turned on his heel and left the house. She gazed at the door and then kicked it violently again and again. She wished she could kick herself; meanwhile she could only take out her frustration on the door. Struck by a thought, she smiled wryly. He must be starving. And she still hadn’t paid her rent.

  She was in the kitchen heating the kettle for the water bottles when there was a knock on the door. Convinced it would be Margaret thinking Donald would be here and wanting to invite herself and Jack in for supper, sharp words were hovering on Susan’s lips as she wrenched open the door.

  Donald stood there looking sheepish. ‘I’m sorry.’ He shrugged. ‘I’m afraid I’ll never learn, Susan. I do admit I was hoping to get you into bed, but I honestly didn’t mean any disrespect. I really did think we could comfort each other.’

  ‘Okay I understand, and I forgive you.’

  She made no effort to invite him in and he grimaced. ‘I suppose I’ve forfeited any chance of some grub?’ She hesitated and he pleaded, ‘I really am starving, Susan.’

  ‘Oh, come on in then, but you had better behave yourself.’

  ‘You can count on that. I’ve learnt my lesson.’

  The engagement party arranged for New Year’s Eve was a great success. Held in the Royal Avenue Hotel, the lavish buffet and constant flow of wine and beer ensured that everyone enjoyed themselves. Rooms were also available at a discount for those who wanted to stay overnight. Alison was flushed with triumph, and Graham had put all thoughts of Susan to one side and had convinced himself he was a very lucky man that such a lovely girl had consented to be his wife.

  He eyed his parents chatting to his future in-laws. His father had been won over long ago by Alison’s beauty and charming manner, but he knew that his mother still had reservations. She was not over-enthusiastic about the match. Not that it mattered. In her opinion no one would be good enough for him. She had hoped for someone better for her only son. A politician’s daughter, for instance. And there had been little chance of that.

  In spite of her family’s ranting and raving, Susan had resisted all efforts to persuade her to come home for the engagement party. She sent Alison some good-quality towels for her bottom drawer, but Graham still thought it very heartless of her to let her sister down. Even if she couldn’t face him, she could have avoided him, as usual. She was very good at doing that, he thought resentfully.

  A June wedding was being suggested by his in-laws and he was glad that Alison didn’t appear to agree with them, saying she was too young to start having babies. And that would be the next thing on the agenda, if their parents had their own way. Then why had she been so determined to get engaged at Christmas? For the life of him he could not understand how a woman’s mind worked.

  The atmosphere was wonderful and the crowd laughed and danced the night away. As midnight drew near, Alison and Graham joined those closest to them to see the New Year in. The only blot on the landscape had been Susan’s absence. When all the excitement had died down and the New Year greetings were over, Graham drew Alison to one side.

  ‘I know we have two single rooms booked, but can’t we share one of them, eh, love?’

  He saw dismay register in her eyes before she came up with an excuse. ‘But my room is next door to my parents. One way or the other they would be bound to know.’

  He gathered her close. ‘Did no one ever tell you that where there’s a will there’s a way?’

  ‘It would be too risky, Graham. I’d die of shame if we were caught. Look a
t how me dad treats Susan, and we aren’t even sure she’s pregnant.’

  He drew back, brows gathered in a frown. ‘Susan pregnant? You never said.’

  ‘Well, we don’t know that she is. And Jim Brady denies it. But why else run over to Aunt Edith and refuse to come home under any circumstances, if she has nothing to hide?’

  Graham was flabbergasted. He felt all at sea, as if he had missed the important part of a film. ‘How come you never mentioned any of this to me before?’

  ‘It was me dad who first put the idea into my head. And then when she refused to come home at Christmas and for my engagement party as well . . . You have to admit it does look very suspicious.’

  ‘But why did you not say anything to me?’

  ‘I didn’t say to anyone, except Jim Brady - remember that night at the Orpheus? I wanted to find out if he knew anything. But he denied all knowledge of it. Of course he might very well be innocent. If it does happen to be true, she could have met someone over there.’

  ‘You should have told me, Alison.’

  ‘What difference does it make?’

  ‘I’m your future husband and you should tell me these things.’

  He turned away and Alison watched him head for the bar, relieved that apparently he had given up the idea of sharing a room tonight. Time enough for all that when they were married, she thought.

  At the bar Graham ordered a double Black Bush, and armed with his drink found a quiet corner. Lighting a cigarette, he mulled over the news he had just heard. He recalled that Susan had been a virgin the night he had taken her. Could she possibly be expecting his child? No! It was out of the question. She would have had no reason to hide. All she had to do was tell him.

  Alison watched him head for a secluded corner table without so much as a glance in her direction and slowly followed him. He must be very annoyed since he didn’t even offer her a drink. Absorbed in thoughts of Susan, Graham had completely forgotten her existence, but to his surprise suddenly Alison was on her knees beside him.

  ‘Graham, have I offended you? I honestly didn’t mean to.’ She had decided to give in to his wishes and keep him happy. ‘As you say, where there’s a will there’s a way, so shall I come to your room when I’m sure the coast is clear? Most people have already retired, so it shouldn’t be too long.’

  He looked into her lovely face and discovered that the passion he had felt earlier had completely evaporated. Placing his drink to one side and his cigarette in an ashtray, he cupped her face in his hands. ‘It’s all right, love. I respect your wishes. Let’s wait until we’re married.’

  ‘You mean that, Graham?’

  He brushed her lips lightly with his. ‘Yes, dear. Now off you go to bed. I’ll just finish my drink and then I’ll be off, too. See you at breakfast in the morning.’

  Feeling that she was in the wrong and he was dismissing her like an unruly schoolgirl, she repeated, ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Yes, I’m sure.’

  ‘Well, all right then. I’ll see you in the morning.’ Still apprehensive, she left him.

  He sat for a long time after she had gone, going over and over again in his mind the few encounters he’d had with Susan after that fatal night. She had obviously been embarrassed and avoided him, but then it was an embarrassing situation. But surely she must have known he would stand by her. Still, she would have been considering Alison’s feelings as well. If - and he very much doubted it - she was pregnant, it could still be Jim Brady’s. There was nothing to prove that she had not been seeing him again. Or, as Alison had pointed out, she might have met someone over in England.

  He sat on, imagining what it would be like for Susan to have his child. It would cause a scandal! No doubt about that. Could it possibly be true? Was that why she had taken off like that? Some time passed as he sat lost in thought, until the silence that had descended on the hotel made him aware of the late hour. A glance at his watch showed it was half-past four. He found when he rose to his feet that he felt very unsteady. Making his way to the lift, he pressed the button and was soon in his bedroom. Not bothering to remove his clothes, he threw himself on the bed. His last thought was of Susan. Somehow or other he must see her. But how?

  Chapter Six

  To his great joy, Jack was promised a job in Cleveland Bridge as soon as he could tie up all the loose ends in London. Margaret adamantly refused to go back down with him and, glad that her beloved son was going to be living close at hand, Edith agreed that she could live with them until he came back.

  She was full of apologies to Susan, explaining that she really had no choice in the matter. Susan hastened to assure her that she was happy enough the way things were. She loved this time of day when she and her aunt could talk freely. Margaret never rose early and they were having coffee together, as usual.

  ‘Billy has agreed to start looking at houses,’ Edith informed her niece. Then we three can move and leave Jack and Margaret in this house. What do you think of that?’

  ‘Aunt Edith, please don’t worry about me. I think I can persuade Donald to let me keep on renting his house. That’s a laugh. He won’t take any money off me. But you know what I mean - he will let me stay. Once the baby is born, I’ll have to think seriously about my future.’

  ‘Susan, I can’t help worrying about you. It’s time you saw a doctor, you know.’

  ‘Yes, I realise that. Can I join your doctor’s surgery?’

  ‘I don’t see why not. I’ll make an appointment for you to go and see him. I’m sure he will take you on. I’ll make it for Wednesday, shall I?’

  Vera Crabtree had asked Susan to continue working part-time: Fridays and Saturdays, so Wednesday suited her fine. ‘That would be great, Aunt Edith.’

  ‘Would you like me to come with you?’

  A definite shake of the head accompanied her answer. ‘No, that won’t be necessary.’ She smiled wryly. ‘You’ve enough running about to do with Margaret, without me adding to your list.’

  ‘Ah now, Susan, you know I wouldn’t mind in the slightest.’

  ‘I know you wouldn’t, but I’d rather be independent. I’ll keep you up to date on all matters, I promise.’

  ‘I wish you and Margaret had hit it off . . .’ Her aunt’s voice trailed off and she looked appealingly at Susan. Getting no response, she added, ‘You would be company for each other, you know, going to the clinic together.’

  ‘Margaret has plenty of friends in Darlington, Aunt Edith. She’ll be all right. I’m a bit of a loner. I prefer my own company.’ This wasn’t really true. She missed her own friends back home and Margaret would be a very poor substitute. She would rather do without than befriend someone like Margaret. ‘I’m fine, really I am.’

  Edith still looked worried, but Margaret was her daughter-in-law and must come first. Susan had asked her not to reveal that she was already pregnant when she arrived. Aware that Donald would therefore be regarded as the father, Edith had questioned the wisdom of this, but was assured that Donald knew which way the wind blew and was quite happy with the way things stood.

  This was true, it kept Margaret off his back.

  They looked at lots of houses and at last put in an offer for one on the outskirts of town in Cockerton Village. A semi-detached house, it had three big bedrooms, two reception rooms, a kitchen, bathroom and gardens at front and rear.

  Edith was in her glory and, with shining eyes, confided in Susan that she had despaired of ever owning a house, and to her, this one was like a mansion. It required some work on it, but this was reflected in the asking price, and she and Billy would willingly work their fingers to the bone to get it just the way they wanted. They hoped to move in before Easter. Easter Sunday was early this year. It would fall on 6 April and Margaret’s baby was also due around that time.

  They had expected Margaret to be delighted to have a home of her own, albeit a rented one, but when Billy offered to get Jack’s name put in the rent book she just shrugged indifferently, and agreed it would do
until Jack arranged something better.

  Jack had been spending weekends at home with his wife, finding it harder and harder to leave each Sunday evening. Eventually, at the end of January, he returned for good. It was soon obvious that he did not share his wife’s view about living in a rented house. He was over the moon at the idea of getting his parents’ comfortable home, saying that it would be long and many a day before they could afford to buy a house. Margaret was far from happy at this idea and an expression used back home came to mind as Susan looked at her dour countenance: ‘She had a face like a Lurgan spade.’

  Donald invested his savings in a second-hand Austin Mini. A cute little red number. The first time it drew up to the door they all gathered on the pavement to admire and exclaim over it. And not just the family! It was such a close-knit community that the whole street was out giving it the once-over; passing knowing comments on its good points and ignoring its bad.

  Had it been a brand-new Aston Martin, Donald could not have been more proud. Every Sunday after Mass he collected Susan and introduced her to all the towns and villages round about. Places like Barnard Castle and Richmond, and Durham and York, where she was enthralled by the quaint cobbled streets in The Shambles and by great York Minster. She was aware that when he arrived each Sunday morning they were watched from behind her Aunt Edith’s net curtains, and she could guess who was spying on them.

  True to his word, Donald’s conduct was beyond reproach. He was a real mate, helping her in every way he could, and she grew to depend on him. When her pregnancy started to show, he confided in her that he didn’t care if everyone thought the baby was his, adding sadly that indeed he wished it was.

  The car was another thorn in Margaret’s side; something else to whine about. Why couldn’t Jack buy a car and take her out and about? she lamented the first time they were alone.

  ‘For the simple reason that we are still in debt to my parents. When we clear that, then - and only then - will I consider going into more debt for a car.’

  ‘But that could take years,’ she gasped.